


One Day Out of Neverwinter

by InterNutter



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Merle's butt, Night Terrors, nudity mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-23 20:27:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12515892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterNutter/pseuds/InterNutter
Summary: How and why Taako saw Merle's butt one time.





	One Day Out of Neverwinter

Disclaimer: I can not keep my fic-writing hands off of the McElroys’ toys. Do forgive me if I make a mess.

 

One Day Out of Neverwinter

InterNutter

 

The sun was going down. It was time to set up a camp. Taako gathered the firewood with a muttered, “Can’t screw that up,” and Merle did the foraging. They each sat on their bedrolls for Forage Casserole that, Magnus had to admit, wasn’t the best.

Taako had watched him put it together with seeming disinterest. And supplied intermittent tips.

Magnus had to wonder what had happened to him. He had been the best chef in all of Faerun. And after Glamour Springs… he’d essentially vanished. 

Magnus dished up. Simple, wooden bowls and simple, wooden spoons. “I know. It’s nothing fancy. But it’ll fill the empty spots.”

Taako put his wand carefully down outside of easy reach before he accepted the bowl. His hand shook as he picked up the spoon and he sort of… curled in on himself as if he expected his food to be snatched away.

Magnus shrugged and tried to focus on his meal. He failed. 

Something had happened between his last show and now to wreck Taako. It might have even been his last show. The Taako Magnus remembered was extravagant and had an easy patter. As well as being slightly well-padded for an Elf. This Taako was a closed off, emaciated wreck. Making intermittent noises as if this was the best meal he had had in months.

But then… everyone had fallen on hard times, lately.

The meal passed in silence. Taako had seconds. Merle wasn’t inclined and began murmuring his evening prayers.

Taako spoke since the first time since dinner was ready. “I call first watch.”

It was only slightly disturbing that he conjured himself a large bottle of fortified wine. The cheapest, strongest stuff. But this adventure was a doddle. No real cause for alarm.

*

Second watch.

Magnus woke to Taako’s insistent prodding. “Hey. Hey. Human. Hey. S’ your turn. Geddup. S’ your turn t’ watch an’ I wanna passout.”

The only light came from the glowing embers and Taako’s glowing eyes. His left one was green. His right one was amber.

“Cool. Heterochromia. I never noticed that before.”

“Yeahsurewhatever,” Taako mumbled and almost fell into his bedroll.

It was weird to be in the presence of an Elf who slept. They usually meditated while they levitated like a foot off the most convenient surface and that was that. Magnus watched the night as Taako began to snore.

Merle… purred. It wasn’t quide a snore, and it definitely wasn’t a nazal rattle. It was a slow and steady rumble that only modulated with his breath. You learn things about people on adventures. Whether you want to or not.

Taako, Magnus guessed, was in the ‘not’ category. He barely spoke. And when he did say anything, he seemed to be close to drunk off his ass.

“Mmmnnn… no…”

And the Elf talked in his sleep. That could be cute.

“...can’t find ‘er. ‘S comin’ an’ I can’t find her…”

Or maybe not. Nightmares were never fun. Magnus pondered poking Taako enough to make the bad dreams go away.

“...’s gonna eat us ‘f y’ don’ hand ov’r the melon…”

Magnus snorted. That guy’s subconscious had to be a very interesting place.

“...but I’m in the middle of nowhere ‘n’ i’s snowin’... please… ‘m jus’ eighteen…”

Magness wanted to soothe him, now. He couldn’t imagine anyone leaving an eighteen-year-old kid in the snow in the middle of nowhere. But that would have been -what- a hundred years ago? Now  _ there _ was a time of strife.

He’d wake Taako if he got rowdy. Sure, he was thrashing around a little, but that was no cause for--

Taako sat bolt upright, panting. Wand pointed at… an otherwise unassuming tree. “...back away. Just… back away. Nobody needs to get hurt.”

“Taako?” said Magnus.

Mismatched eyes, glowing in the dark, wide and bright and unseeing. “It’s do or die time,” he said, and reached out as if seeking the hand of someone who should have been there.

Magnus said, “It’s okay, now,” and took up that groping hand.

The effect was electric. Taako nearly jumped out of his skin and flailed like he was fighting a swarm of dire bats. Snorting and babbling for five full seconds. Now he was actually awake and pissed off. “What the actual  _ fuck _ , dude?” He snatched his hand back and wiped it on his cloak.

It was hard not to laugh. “Sorry. Didn’t know what was going on until just now.”

“Hnf. Like a meat shield knows anything about anything.” Taako lay back down and shut his eyes.

“You get night terrors, pal.”

Mismatched lights in the night. Aimed at him. Looking angry. “One. I am not now nor will I ever be your ‘pal’. Two…  _ What _ ?”

“Night terrors,” said Magnus. “It’s a sleep disorder. You probably get it ‘cause you’re supposed to meditate or whatever. But you end up moving around and talking in your sleep and having whack nightmares.”

“I don’t dream,” said Taako. “And F Y big fat I… I sleep because I can be aware in an instant. Meditation… leaves an Elf vulnerable when they’re under.” He rolled over and placed his ridiculous hat over his head as a form of night mask.

*

Third Watch

Merle stretched out of his bedroll during the pre-dawn twilight.

“Gah, gross,” muttered Magnus. “We do  _ not _ need any more nightmares.”

He rolled his eyes. Prudes everywhere. “So I like to sleep skyclad. You’d be shocked how many footpads that turns away.”

“No, I would not,” muttered Magnus, and lay down for more rest.

Merle settled into lotus position and hummed  _ Ode to the First Hours _ under his breath as he watched for anything untowards. Feeling at one with nature and the universe as he beheld it in the most natural of costumes.

The Elf was mumbling under his hat. Disjointed phrases that had nothing to do with each other. Finishing with, “...the lemur has my velocipede…” and then he sat up. Bolt upright. Aiming his wand down the road. Eyes wide open.

Huh. Heterochromia. Cool. Not many elves around with  _ that _ little anomaly.

Merle turned to look. Squinted in the twilight to see if he could see what those elf eyes beheld. His night sight was fading as the sun painted the world with colour. “What’s out there?”

An extended snort. And then the girliest shriek that ever came out of a man’s throat.

Magnus startled up in instants. “Huh? We under attack?”

“Oghma, my  _ eyes _ …” whined the Elf. “Gross-a-roonie.”

Magnus said, “Aaaannnnd the Dwarf is still naked. Gross. Put some pants on, old man.”

Grumbling all the way, Merle began to dress. “I guess  _ some _ people don’t have a full appreciation for the wonders of nature…”

“Guess this means we can skip breakfast,” muttered the Elf. “I’m going to go wash. And try not to hurl.”

“Everybody has to be a wise-ass,” sighed Merle.

“We certainly didn’t need to see  _ yours _ ,” complained Magnus.

 

END!


End file.
